Sunday, September 9, 2012

"And don't act like a bunch of wild Indians!

I've talked before about moms using extreme commands in their parenting and that the point may not be getting across to their kids, for example my posts about the toilet overflowing. Well, I have another example from when I was about 7 years old.

We went to my aunt's house which was about a 2 hour drive. When we were ready to get out of the car my mom turned to us and said,

"Do not act like a bunch of wild Indians while we're here!"

I'm thinking, no problem, we don't usually play that anyway.

We had a great time that day. We played in the basement for a couple of hours. We decided to make a grocery store. Lucky for us, they had a deep freezer. We took out all of the meat and set it on a bench in the basement for our store. Evidently, we were being too loud so they told us to go outside. Great! We played hide and seek, running through their lot and into the house and back outside etc. Well, the moms didn't like that so we were shunned to the outside and they locked the door behind us!

No problem! I had plenty of ideas (being the oldest of the kids there). We made a garage sale. I thought we could make plenty of money with all the stuff in my aunt's garage that they obviously didn't need. So anything not bolted down was drug to the driveway and tagged for sale. I remember asking my younger cousin, Tommy, to go and count our items. I heard him saying…

"1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 8, 10, 14, 15,…"

I was working with amateurs! It didn't matter, the moms found out and we had to bring everything back into the garage! Foiled again!

Well, they let us back into the house and we were told to play in the basement. We ended the day building forts in their storage area with boxes, lawn chairs and whatever else would stack nicely. It was time to head home. As we got into the car, I thought, Oh brother, see, we didn't even play Indians like mom was so afraid of!

Two weeks later, my aunt and uncle had a terrible smell coming from their basement. The meat had been left out from our grocery store and had rotted. Well, if they had let us have customers, we could have moved our product a little better!

Monday, August 20, 2012

Being Dragged Down to the Alter at the Baptist Church!

OK, so on my last post, I mentioned being dragged down to the alter by my dad. This was the little baptist church we attended until I was 5. So here's how the story goes...

I was in my Sunday School class one Sunday when my teacher said to us as we left, "Don't forget to get saved!" I look back on that and think what an interesting comment. Obviously, the details of what she said could be fuzzy at this point. Anyway, I went home, ate lunch, and played in the front yard. I for some reason remembered what my teacher said. So I literally knelt down under a tree in my front yard and said to God. "Please save me, Amen." Profound, right?

We moved a few months later to another small town in Indiana. My mom mentioned something to me about church and God and getting saved. I responded with "Oh, I did that a long time ago!" Like, Mom you are so a day late and dollar short! I've got that wrapped up!

My dad came home later that evening (who was the spiritual giant in our family). He sat me down on the couch and had a nice long talk with me about what I had done with God and made sure I understood everything. It seemed that the issue had passed. Then Sunday came....

There I was minding my own business, drawing on papers from Sunday school while the preacher went on and on, when my dad pulled me by the arm and walked me up to the front of the church! I think I could have shit my pants if it wouldn't have been such an abomination! Once in front of everyone, my dad explained the decision I had made in asking Jesus into my heart. I remember shaking my head in reference to some questions.

The lesson I learned that day was this..."Never, ever, no matter what, sit next to Dad during church! EVER!"

Actually, to this day, I'm very close to my parents and have a great appreciation for their spiritual upbringing in our home.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Walmart Mom At The Vet

So we've taken on a ridiculous idea of adopting a puppy! He's a chocolate lab mix that we brought home from a rescue shelter. I know, aren't we awesome! Anyway, it's time to take the little guy to the local vet and get him checked out. I brought my 10 year old daughter, Anna. We walk into a nice little set up of hard wood floors and ironically church benches. It kind of reminded me of the old baptist days of being drug to the alter by my dad. That's another story though.

There were a couple of other customers with their dogs. One of these ladies was, sorry for the stereotype, a Walmart mom. You guys know what I'm talking about. She seemed to have just rolled out of bed, pushing 700 pounds and talking to her 2 little boys (probably 2 and 4) like she detested their existence. I don't mind being around this if I'm by myself, but when I have any of my kids with me, I know there's going to be an explanation moment when we get to the car. She had both of her dogs drug by their leashes and by the time she was leaving, I thought she might of slipped leashes on her boys when they were out of our line of sight!  Her comment to the youngest boy was "I didn't do that to you, you did that to yourself!" This was after she pulled him by the shirt and ran him into a door! Sure enough, when we got into the car Anna quotes her to me!

We had an experience like this at the Grand Canyon this year. I thought my 14 year old boy was going to punch a Walmart mom in the face! He had to walk away from the situation. Her 2 year old boy was climbing up on the railing where he could have so easily slipped to his death. It was horrible to watch. Finally, the grandpa mosied up there and picked up little junior for the mom. When we walked away and were at a far enough distance, my kids started talking to me about it and I responded with "You can't parent like that! That mom cared more about Ding Dongs and Twinkies than being able to parent quickly!" I know, I'm terrible!